- Ghosting can trigger anxiety and rejection sensitivity, leading to emotional distress and self-doubt.
- Breadcrumbing manipulates emotional investment, causing confusion and low self-esteem.
- Love bombing can escalate quickly into emotional manipulation, fostering dependence and anxiety.
- Romance scams exploit emotional trust to extract money, with victims often suffering financial and psychological damage.
- Excessive dating app use is linked to increased psychological distress, including anxiety and depression.
Online dating offers a convenient way to connect, but it also comes with emotional and psychological risks. Many users encounter bad dating app behaviors that lead to distress, self-doubt, and even long-term mental health effects. Understanding these behaviors, recognizing online dating red flags, and prioritizing dating app safety can help you navigate the experience with confidence and emotional security.
Ghosting and Its Psychological Toll
Ghosting—when someone ceases all communication without warning—is one of the most common and emotionally harmful behaviors in online dating. The sudden silence can leave the ghosted individual grappling with confusion, self-doubt, and rejection. Unlike traditional breakups, ghosting provides no closure, exacerbating psychological distress and anxiety.
Why People Ghost
People ghost for various reasons: avoidance of confrontation, loss of interest, or even as a manipulation tactic. Some individuals fear hurting the other person, while others simply don’t value emotional accountability. Dating apps facilitate ghosting by presenting an abundance of options, making it easy for users to disconnect and move on without reflection.
Psychological Effects
Studies suggest that ghosting can trigger symptoms of anxiety and rejection sensitivity (Timmermans & Courtois, 2018). For those already struggling with self-esteem, being ghosted reinforces fears of inadequacy, which may contribute to further emotional distress.
Coping Strategies
- Reframe the experience: Recognize that ghosting says more about the ghoster’s emotional maturity than your value.
- Seek closure elsewhere: Talking to a friend or journaling about the experience can help process emotions.
- Practice self-validation: Your self-worth isn’t defined by someone else’s inability to communicate.
Breadcrumbing: The Illusion of Interest
Breadcrumbing occurs when someone sends flirtatious messages sporadically to maintain interest but never follows through with genuine actions. This creates an illusion of potential romance while stringing the other person along.
How Breadcrumbing Affects Emotional Well-Being
Because breadcrumbing involves inconsistent affection and vague promises, it can lead to emotional dependency. People on the receiving end may cling to hope, waiting for validation that never fully arrives. Over time, this pattern erodes self-esteem and contributes to cognitive dissonance—where the person struggles to reconcile reality with hopeful perceptions.
Recognizing Breadcrumbing
- They frequently disappear and reappear without explanation.
- Conversations are inconsistent with no real commitment.
- They offer vague future plans that never materialize.
Catfishing and Identity Deception
Catfishing—creating a fake profile to deceive others—remains a widespread issue in online dating. Some catfishers lie about minor details, while others construct entirely fabricated identities.
Why People Catfish
- Low self-esteem drives them to create an idealized persona.
- Malicious intent such as emotional manipulation or financial fraud.
- Thrill-seeking, using deception as entertainment.
Emotional Impact on Victims
Discovering that someone has lied about their identity can be deeply distressing. It leads to broken trust, embarrassment, and even feelings of betrayal. Some victims blame themselves for being deceived, further harming their self-esteem.
How to Protect Yourself
- Verify identities: Ask for video calls or check social media consistency before deepening an emotional connection.
- Look for inconsistencies: Be wary of overly polished profiles and vague personal details.
- Trust your instincts: If something feels off, investigate before investing emotionally.
Love Bombing and Manipulation
Love bombing is an intense courtship tactic where someone showers another with excessive affection, gifts, and attention in a short period. While it may seem flattering, love bombing is often a manipulation technique used to establish emotional control.
Phases of Love Bombing
- Idealization: The manipulator floods the victim with adoration and promises of an extraordinary relationship.
- Devaluation: Once emotional dependence is formed, manipulative behaviors surface—criticism, withdrawal of affection, or even control tactics.
- Discarding: The perpetrator may abruptly pull away, leaving the victim feeling abandoned and confused.
Emotional Consequences
Victims of love bombing often struggle with deep insecurity and anxiety when the attention suddenly disappears. Recognizing an unhealthy pattern early is crucial to protecting mental well-being.
Red Flags to Watch For
- Over-the-top declarations of love early in dating
- Pressuring for immediate commitment
- Sudden mood swings between affectionate and distant behavior
Bench-Warming (Keeping Someone as a Backup Option)
Bench-warming happens when someone keeps a romantic interest in play without ever committing. They respond intermittently, showing just enough interest to maintain your presence but not enough to prioritize you.
How Dating Apps Encourage This
With infinite dating options at their fingertips, many users engage in bench-warming behavior as a subconscious backup plan. The fear of missing out (FOMO) drives people to keep their options open rather than invest in any single connection.
Impact on Self-Worth
Being kept on standby leads to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. Many people question why they aren’t “enough” to be chosen, which can take a toll on confidence.
How to Address It
If someone’s investment in you feels half-hearted or inconsistent, it’s important to take charge. Set boundaries and communicate your value by prioritizing only those who reciprocate your interest.
Negging and Backhanded Compliments
Negging is a manipulative tactic in which someone offers subtle insults disguised as compliments. These remarks are designed to lower self-esteem and make the recipient seek validation.
Examples of Negging
- “You’re cute, but you’d look even better if you lost a little weight.”
- “Most people don’t get my humor, but you’re kinda smart.”
Psychological Manipulation
Negging exploits insecurities, making the victim crave approval from the person delivering the insult. This can create a power imbalance where self-doubt fuels the desire to “earn” full approval.
Profile Mismatches: Lying About Lifestyle and Intentions
Many individuals embellish details on their dating profiles, from minor exaggerations (height, job titles) to major deceptions (relationship status, goals).
Why It Happens
- Desire to appear more attractive or successful
- Unwillingness to disclose true dating intentions
- Fear of rejection for being honest
Consequences
Once the truth is revealed, mismatches in expectations breed disappointment and mistrust. This erodes the reliability of online dating and fosters emotional exhaustion.
Situationships: Ambiguity and Emotional Confusion
A “situationship” is a romantic connection without clear definitions. While some prefer casual dating, others become emotionally invested despite the lack of commitment.
How Situationships Affect Mental Health
- Increased attachment anxiety due to uncertainty.
- Emotional exhaustion from continuously questioning where you stand.
- Self-doubt as one person wonders why commitment isn’t forthcoming.
Setting expectations early and having honest conversations prevents emotional misalignment.
Financial Scams and Romance Fraud
Romance scams exploit emotional connections to demand money or sensitive information. Scammers craft elaborate stories to justify financial requests.
Warning Signs
- They quickly profess love or deep affection
- They request financial help due to an emergency
- Their details frequently change when questioned
Harassment and Coercion in Online Dating
Unsolicited messages, threats, or coercive behavior are distressingly common on dating apps.
How to Maintain Dating App Safety
- Block and report harassing users
- Avoid meeting in isolated locations initially
- Trust your instincts and set firm boundaries
Psychological Impact of Bad Dating App Behaviors
Excessive dating app use is associated with increased psychological distress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms (Hall et al., 2021). The repetitive cycle of rejection and deception contributes to dating app burnout, emphasizing the importance of mindful usage.
Protecting Yourself from Toxic Dating Experiences
- Identify online dating red flags early.
- Set clear emotional boundaries and recognize your worth.
- Take breaks from dating apps when feeling overwhelmed.
By prioritizing emotional security and recognizing bad dating app behaviors, you can cultivate healthier and more fulfilling connections.
Citations
- D’Angelo, J. D., & Toma, C. L. (2017). The chemistry of deception: Relational closeness and lying in online dating. Journal of Communication, 67(5), 709-731.
- Hall, J. A., Xing, C., & Brooks, C. (2021). Swiping for trouble: The association between dating app use and psychological distress. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 24(9), 577-584.
- Timmermans, E., & Courtois, C. (2018). From swiping to ghosting: Conceptualizing rejection in mobile dating. Mobile Media & Communication, 6(1), 63-78.
