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- Men unconsciously connect being kind with being feminine, which makes them feel less kind themselves.
- If men strongly believe that being nurturing is “feminine,” they are less likely to show their emotions.
- If men are repeatedly shown that “men are kind,” it can change how they see themselves as men.
- Changing how we think about being a man to include kindness can make men happier and improve their relationships.
- More men might become caregivers if society as a whole sends different messages, not just if individual men change their minds.
Can Changing Stereotypes Make Men More Caring?
Can changing the stories we tell about gender actually change how men see themselves? New research says yes. A study by psychologists Katharina Block and Toni Schmader suggests that when men are shown different gender ideas—like connecting being a man with caregiving—they start to unconsciously see themselves as more caring. These ideas offer new ways to think about being a man, improve men’s emotional health, and create a more fair society for everyone.
What Are Communal Traits—and Why Do They Matter?
Communal traits—such as kindness, empathy, compassion, emotional intelligence, sensitivity, and cooperation—are very important in how people make relationships and stay emotionally healthy. These traits help with caregiving, parenting, teamwork, and showing emotions, which are needed for families, workplaces, and communities to work well.
On the other hand, agentic traits—like assertiveness, independence, ambition, and self-reliance—are often linked to being a leader and being successful alone. These two sets of traits are not opposites. Ideally, people should have both. Being a well-rounded person means growing both agentic and communal traits.
But in many cultures, communal traits have been stereotyped as “feminine.” This old idea about gender makes people think that being empathetic and nurturing is more right for women, while being independent and not showing feelings is more “manly.” This split hurts men who have or want to have emotional skills, because it makes those traits seem wrong for men.
Really, communal traits are not just for one gender—they are human strengths. Taking them back as part of what all humans can be can help break down limiting gender stereotypes and let everyone show who they really are, no matter their gender.
Unconscious Stereotypes and the Gender Divide
Gender stereotypes are not just old ideas—they are often deep, automatic reactions that are part of our culture and language. Unconscious gender stereotypes are in our minds without us knowing, made over years of seeing the rules and stories around us. These unconscious beliefs can greatly affect how we act, what we choose, and how we see ourselves, often without us knowing it.
The common stereotype: women are caring, emotional nurturers; men are logical, assertive providers. While society has changed these old ideas, they still exist unconsciously across societies. Studies using Implicit Association Tests (IATs) often show that people—no matter what they think consciously—often more quickly link women with communal traits, and men with agentic ones.
For men, this causes a mental problem. If being nurturing and empathetic are traits linked to being feminine, then growing or showing those same qualities may unconsciously feel like it threatens their masculinity. The result? Many men may avoid caregiving roles, emotional vulnerability, or working together with others—not because they can’t do it, but because of an unconscious conflict with how they see themselves.
This built-in gender policing helps explain why men often act extra tough and hide their emotional needs, leading to being alone socially and emotionally. If we don’t challenge these things, they limit personal growth and make gender inequalities worse.
How Gender Stereotypes Shape Male Identity
Cultural training often starts young: boys are told to “be a man,” not cry, and fix problems with action not emotion. Over time, these messages create an unconscious idea of self based on being in charge, controlling emotions, and focusing on goals. While these traits have good points, when kind values are left out of how men see themselves, it makes them emotionally weaker.
Block and Schmader’s important 2025 study looked at how much gender stereotypes get into men’s ideas of themselves. They found that, although both men and women unconsciously link “nurturing” and “empathic” with being feminine, only men have a self-idea gap: they unconsciously see themselves as less kind than women do.
This finding supports Balanced Identity Theory, which says that a person’s identity is made by how well things like “me,” “male,” and “nurturing” fit together. If society strongly links being nurturing with being feminine, then being male unconsciously weakens how much someone sees themselves as kind.
This skewed identity making does not just affect how men see themselves—it affects life choices. Men are less likely to show love openly, choose jobs in caregiving, or be the main caregiver in the family. In leadership, they may not want emotional connection or see working together as weakness instead of strength.
The cost of this imbalance shows up in more men being lonely, not enough men getting mental health care, and not wanting to fully share parenting. In other words: gender stereotypes are costing men their full humanity.
Study 1: How Unconscious Bias Limits Male Self-Perception
In the first part of their research, Block and Schmader wanted to measure how deep unconscious gender stereotypes are and how they relate to how people see themselves. Using the Implicit Association Test (IAT), they asked 188 college students to quickly sort words related to “me,” “female,” “male,” and “kind traits.”
Findings showed
- Both men and women had strong links between being feminine and kind traits.
- Only men showed a weak link between themselves and kind qualities.
- For men, the stronger they linked women to caring, the less they saw themselves as kind people.
These results gave strong proof that just growing up in a society with gender roles can be enough to cause differences in personal identity—not because men value community less, but because they have been unconsciously trained to see those traits as “not for them.”
This helps explain why boys and men are pushed to be emotionally distant and overly independent. If being kind unconsciously goes against how they see themselves, they may avoid closeness or care not because they believe it, but because of an inherited mental conflict.
Study 2: Can Unconscious Associations Be Changed?
The second part of the study looked at whether these deep associations could be changed—and maybe replaced—with stronger, healthier options. Researchers made a stereotype retraining program and showed 129 male students either normal or opposite gender messages.
In the test group, men were repeatedly shown connections that linked “men” with “kind” qualities using a changed IAT to put these associations in unconsciously. The control group reinforced the old idea of “women = nurturing.”
The results were strong
- Men shown the “men = kind” retraining greatly increased their unconscious link between themselves and kind traits.
- The effect size (d = 0.61) showed a moderate to strong effect after just one session.
This proved that being a man is not naturally against care—it’s trained by signals. When those signals change, so can how men see themselves. This changeability suggests new ways to guide behavior, change education, and make public messages aimed at making being a man broader.
Brain Change and Identity: How Change Happens
The study’s results match other findings from brain science: our brains are made to change. The idea of brain change—the brain’s ability to change itself by making new brain connections—means that even old beliefs and behaviors can be changed with the right things happening.
Unconscious associations depend a lot on repeating things and signals around us. This means that repeatedly seeing messages that challenge gender stereotypes can, over time, change not only personal beliefs but the cultural stories we live by.
This is key in making new ideas about being a man. If men are surrounded by media, community, and groups that say caregiving is strength, those traits may start to feel not only possible—but needed to be a man.
But change is not automatic. The study also found that while unconscious self-ideas changed, conscious attitudes and beliefs did not. That’s because the brain systems that process conscious thought and automatic reactions are different—an idea known in psychology as dual-process theory.
Why Conscious Beliefs Lag Behind
Most people think that changing beliefs means showing proof or making a logical argument. But unconscious attitudes don’t react well to logical arguments—they’re more like reflexes trained by years of cultural exposure.
That’s why behavior, not just ideas, shapes belief. Think of how people who volunteer in diverse communities often end up with more accepting attitudes—not because someone told them to be open-minded, but because new behaviors create new identities.
For cultural changes around being a man to really happen, unconscious changes (through media, messages, environment) must be helped by planned, long-term support—and time for people to think about these changes consciously.
Male Caregiving and the Link to Mental Health
Changing how men see themselves has effects beyond self-idea—it could directly affect how healthy they are.
Social psychology and mental health research often show that men who accept emotional vulnerability, community, and connection have less loneliness, less shame about getting help, and are happier in relationships.
Caregiving creates purpose, emotional growth, and strength. When men let themselves show emotions and care, they can experience all of what it means to be human—not just power or performance.
Given growing mental health problems among men everywhere—including a worrying number of suicides among young men—changing what it means to be a man to include caring behaviors is not just good; it’s urgent.
Toward a New Masculinity
New cultural movements are already changing the story of what it means to be a man. From supporting stay-at-home dads to praising male therapists, nurses, and emotional leaders, the idea of being a man is slowly getting broader.
This broadening does not mean rejecting old ideas of being a man like strength or confidence—but it does mean adding traits like empathy, patience, compassion, and gentleness. True masculinity needs space for being complex, unclear, and deep—and that includes being caring.
As younger people push for gender fairness and showing emotions, the need for broader male presence in caregiving roles—from parenting to caring for older people to emotional support—is growing. Rethinking masculinity opens up a lot of human potential.
Real-Life Impacts: Fatherhood, Jobs, Emotional Intelligence
The good things about adding kind values to being a man spread across areas
- In families, men who feel okay being nurturing are more likely to share parenting and make strong bonds with children.
- In workplaces, emotionally intelligent male leaders improve morale, reduce fighting, and make teams feel safe mentally.
- In relationships, men with shown emotional range tend to be more available, trustworthy, and happy with their partnerships.
Encouraging male caregiving through social campaigns, education, and workplace values does not just help men—it improves systems as a whole.
A Shift That Requires Support
The change will not be easy or fast. Identity often feels very important—and changes to gender expectations can cause pushback or self-doubt. Lasting changes need support across many areas: school, media, policy, and relationships with others.
Still, this study shows that change is possible. Even a 15-minute training was enough to change deep self-ideas. Imagine what could happen with lasting support over years.
Building a More Caring Society: Everyone Benefits
What if every boy saw caregiving as normal for men? What if every man felt able to nurture, not just be strong? What if every leader understood that emotional honesty is strength?
These aren’t just questions—they are goals society can work toward. Making a world where being a man includes empathy could change how we parent, work, love, and heal.
In the end, we are not stuck with the stereotypes we got from the past.
We can change them.
Citations
- Block, K., & Schmader, T. (2025). Me, myself, and my stereotypes: Does retraining gender stereotypes change men’s self-concept? Self & Identity. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2025.2477003
