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- 95% of teens value careers they enjoy over traditional milestones like marriage.
- Only 20% of teens see marriage as extremely important to adult fulfillment.
- 89% of teens prioritize close friendships as key to a good life.
- 69% say marriage is only somewhat or not important at all.
- Neuroscience research links teen priorities to identity development and autonomy.
Teens are changing what a good life means. Marriage just doesn’t seem as important as it used to. A new Pew Research Center survey shows that young people today care most about having jobs they like, good friends, and helping other people. They don’t focus as much on things like getting married. This change makes you wonder: What matters most to this group? And what do these teen goals show about how people and culture are changing?
Key Survey Findings: What Teens Value Most
The latest Pew Research Center poll gives a clear picture of how this generation defines a “good life” now. In the past, older people might have thought marriage and family were the main parts of being a successful adult. But teens today see things differently.
The top things teens want in life are
- 95% of teens think “having a job or career they enjoy” is very or extremely important.
- 90% say that “helping others who are in need” is very or extremely important.
- 89% believe that “having close friends” is essential to a good life.
These numbers are clear. For Gen Z, a good life comes from jobs they feel strongly about, friendships that offer help, and doing things that matter more than just to themselves. These choices show a wider psychological trend. They want to be themselves and find meaning from inside, not just from what others expect.
This shift in what they value shows that Gen Z isn’t just following a list of life steps. Instead, they choose things that feel right to them, things that feel real and make them happy.
Marriage: Not a High Priority
Teens really value work, friendship, and helping others. But marriage isn’t as high on their list. Only 20% of teens say marriage is very important for a good adult life. And a big number, 69%, say marriage is only a little important or not important at all. This puts it near the bottom of goals in the Pew study.
This doesn’t mean teens today don’t want love or long-term partners. But it does mean they think about what a good life is in a new way. Modern teens might see marriage as just one choice, not something they have to do. They think feeling close to someone is what matters, not whether they are legally married.
Also, many teens might have seen problems with marriage, like divorce, money troubles, or old-fashioned expectations. Thinking this way could show they question old rules and are open to different ways of having close, lasting relationships.
Comparing Teen and Adult Priorities
We can see a difference between teens and adults when we compare what matters to them. Older adults have often thought marriage, owning a home, and starting a family were very important signs of success, according to past studies by Pew Research Center and others.
But teens today prefer
- Being independent instead of feeling forced.
- Having a meaningful life instead of just being seen as important.
- Having strong emotional connections instead of legal ties.
This doesn’t mean teens won’t want their own families someday. But when they do it and how they structure it might be different. Unlike people before them, they might decide to marry later or not marry at all. They might live with someone before marriage or instead of it. Or they might even call close friends their family.
This change shows that our culture now accepts many different ways to live a good life. It values these different paths. Success is no longer just about being “married with kids by 30.” Instead, teens aim for things that bring them personal happiness and meaning.
Psychological Shifts Behind Teen Prioritization
Looking at how young people grow and think, this makes sense. The time when someone is a teen is about finding out who they are, figuring out what they believe, and becoming more independent. A theory says that people need to feel independent, good at things, and connected to others. Based on this, teens’ main goals fit right in.
- Independence: A job they like helps them feel in charge of themselves and free.
- Being Good at Things: Helping others and doing well at something important meets the need to feel useful and successful.
- Being Connected: Friends give the social ties people need to feel well.
Also, another idea about needs shows this behavior more clearly. Teens, especially those who are doing okay financially, are focused on feeling good about themselves and reaching their full abilities. They want to feel real and reach their best self, not just meet basic needs or follow what society expects.
And modern education, therapy, and self-help ideas often talk about being present, finding purpose, and learning about yourself. These things help build values around finding happiness inside, not from outside approval. This makes marriage feel less necessary compared to things that bring joy and meaning right away.
Societal Influences Shaping Teen Views
The fact that marriage isn’t as important to teens isn’t just about how they think as individuals. It’s also shaped a lot by bigger social things. Look at these points
Rising Divorce Rates
More than 40% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Teens who grew up with divorced parents might be wary of marriage or cautious about it. They’ve seen that traditional setups don’t always mean happiness or stability.
Economic Uncertainty
Today’s teens are becoming adults in a time when jobs change often. Student loan debt is huge, housing costs are really high, and the economy isn’t always steady. Because of this, marriage—which often means sharing money, planning for the long term, and having kids—can feel like it costs too much or is too risky.
Cultural Ideas About Being an Individual
Young people in Western countries hear more and more that their life should be about “what makes you happy,” not what others expect. Growing yourself, taking care of yourself, and making your own path are praised. So, traditional things like marriage are often seen as just one choice out of many, not the main goal.
Seeing More Kinds of Lifestyles
Teens now see many different ways families live. There are single-parent homes, couples without kids, people in multiple relationships, and people who work from anywhere. TV, online stars, and social media show that happiness can look many different ways, not just one standard way.
The Role of Media and Technology
Technology has made it much easier to see many life options. Apps like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube constantly show different ways people live. This influences what teens think is possible, but also what they want.
A 16-year-old can watch someone who is 30 travel the world and talk about being happy not being married. Or they can hear from someone who started their own business talking about how they make a difference without a spouse. Or they can see people online happily talking about being in long-term relationships without getting married.
Seeing all this helps make it normal to not follow old timelines or structures. It tells teens: you are not strange or behind if you don’t focus on marriage. You are just becoming your own version of a successful person.
Current trends like the “soft life” idea, which is against working too much and is more about peaceful, happy lives, show this way of thinking. For Gen Z, becoming an adult doesn’t mean trying hard to get lots of stuff and checking off goal boxes. Instead, it means creating a life that feels right mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Redefining Fulfillment: Work, Friends, and Helping Others
Marriage isn’t the main thing teens focus on for a good life. So they are finding other things to ground them
Work as Identity
Older generations might have stayed in jobs they didn’t like to support their families. But teens want to find jobs that have meaning. Many connect who they are and what they care about directly to their work. A job is not just about making money. It’s about doing something important and feeling good about how you spend your time.
Friendships as Emotional Support
Close friends are a very important support system for teens. Many even call friends their “chosen family.” Families are often more spread out or complicated now. So friendships give teens the stability and emotional support they need to do well.
Helping Others as Purpose
Helping others was the second most important thing, right after liking their career. This shows that teens feel good about themselves when they have a positive effect. Whether they volunteer, work for causes, or just help their friends, offering help meets their need for connection, for doing something useful, and for being part of a community.
The Neuroscience of Adolescent Decision-Making
Science backs up what the surveys suggest: the teen brain isn’t fully ready for big, long-term choices like marriage. The parts of the brain that handle feelings, risk, planning, and self-control are still changing a lot during the teen years.
The planning part of the brain keeps developing until your mid-20s. So teens are naturally more interested in things that feel good right away than in things that pay off much later. This makes big, far-off commitments, like marriage, seem less appealing.
Instead, teens like experiences that are interesting, make them feel something, and help them think about themselves. What they care about—purpose, community, and creativity—matches how their brain is growing and how they feel.
Implications for Mental Health and Well-being
Focusing on these things can be good for their mental health. Studies show that having independence, feeling good at things, and having strong social ties greatly lower the chances of feeling down or worried.
But focusing less on long-term romantic partners could have some risks
- Feeling Alone Later: If teens don’t see long-term relationships as important and don’t find other ways to build support systems, they might feel more lonely as adults.
- Less Stable Social Structures: Without formal commitments like marriage, emotional support might not be as strong. This puts more pressure on friends and community groups.
- Policies Don’t Fit: Systems made for traditional families might not work well anymore. This could leave some groups without the support they need.
This all means we might need new ways to support people—networks and policies that help different types of families and different life paths.
Impact on the Future of Marriage and Family Structures
If teens keep these priorities as they get older, society could see some changes
- Marriage rates might keep going down or people might marry later.
- Long-term partners might be common without getting legally married.
- More people might choose not to have kids or live alone.
- Traditional systems (like social security, tax rules, housing) might need to change for new ways people live together.
These changes are not necessarily bad. They just show that the world is changing. The challenge is to make sure that support systems change too, to keep up with how people are living.
A Historical Perspective: How Priorities Change Across Decades
What we see today is similar to how cultural priorities have shifted before. In the middle of the 20th century, marriage was more than a romantic choice. It was what society expected. Laws, religion, and the economy all made it seem necessary.
But as culture became more varied and the economy changed, people born later started to question this idea. Now, Gen Z is taking it further. They are creating a new idea of what being an adult means from the ground up.
This doesn’t mean marriage will disappear. But it is clear that it’s not seen as a goal everyone must reach anymore. People now prefer to define success and happiness in ways that fit them better.
What This Means for Parents, Educators, and Healthcare Providers
These changes in what young people value suggest we should be flexible, not worried. Instead of being upset that marriage isn’t a top goal for teens, adults who guide them should focus on the things teens do value
- Say it’s okay to find happiness and a good life in different ways.
- Help them try new things without pressure to follow just one plan for their life.
- Give teens skills in understanding feelings, managing money, and having good relationships.
- Support mental health services that understand different lifestyles and relationship types.
Really, helping today’s teens isn’t about getting them to the wedding. It’s about helping them build lives that feel full, connected, and true to what matters most to them.
Today’s teens are not saying no to relationships. They are making a new way to think about love, purpose, and belonging. They are using words that show who they really are.
Want to know how what matters to you compares with today’s teens? Tell us what you think below and find out more about what studies say about different generations on The Neuro Times.
