- 90% of people admit to using their phones during conversations, and 86% observe others doing the same.
- Phubbing decreases relationship satisfaction and makes individuals feel neglected.
- Studies link phubbing to lower empathy, reducing emotional connections in social interactions.
- A lack of self-control is associated with frequent phubbing and diminished prosocial behavior.
- Society’s normalization of phubbing could lead to weaker social bonds and lower emotional intelligence.
Is Phubbing Making You Less Empathetic?
Phubbing—the habit of ignoring someone in favor of a smartphone—has become a modern social epidemic. While it might seem like a minor rudeness, growing research suggests that it affects more than just social etiquette. Studies indicate that phubbing actually decreases empathy, making people less emotionally engaged in their interactions. When individuals focus on their phones rather than their conversation partners, they disrupt human connection, leading to a decline in prosocial behaviors such as helping and understanding others. In this article, we’ll explore how phubbing damages relationships, the psychological mechanisms at play, and what you can do to break free from this habit for better social interactions.
The Rising Prevalence of Phubbing in Social Contexts
Phubbing is so widespread that it has become a normalized behavior. Most people have experienced being snubbed mid-conversation by a friend or family member scrolling through their phone. A 2015 survey found that 90% of respondents admitted to using their phones during conversations, and 86% had observed others doing the same (Schmidt-Barad & Chernyak-Hai, 2024).
Several factors contribute to this growing issue:
- Smartphone dependency: The average person checks their phone 96 times per day, or once every ten minutes. With so many notifications, it’s tempting to look at the screen even during conversations.
- Fear of missing out (FOMO): People fear being left out of online discussions, news, or social media updates, leading them to prioritize digital interactions over real-life ones.
- Conditioned responses: Smartphones are designed to capture attention. Dopamine-driven feedback loops—via notifications, likes, or messages—train users to check their screens compulsively.
With phubbing becoming so ingrained, many fail to recognize its negative impact on real-life relationships. Over time, prioritizing screens over human interactions weakens emotional bonds and reshapes social behaviors.
The Psychological Impact of Phubbing on Relationships
Phubbing doesn’t just hurt feelings—it actively harms relationships. It communicates to others that their presence is less important than whatever is happening on the phone screen. This can lead to several psychological consequences:
- Lower relationship satisfaction: Phubbing is strongly associated with dissatisfaction in friendships, romantic relationships, and family interactions. When people feel ignored, they become less engaged and emotionally distant.
- Increased loneliness: Paradoxically, phubbing leads to more social isolation rather than more connection. Even in group settings, phubbing can create an atmosphere of disengagement, leaving people feeling alone despite being physically present.
- Reduced trust and intimacy: In romantic relationships, phubbing creates emotional distance. Studies have found that individuals who experience frequent phubbing from their partners report lower relationship commitment and more feelings of neglect.
When phone use disrupts conversations, it limits meaningful discussions and emotional exchanges, weakening social ties. The more phubbing occurs, the more it reinforces a cycle of disengagement—where both parties feel disconnected and, in turn, start engaging less.
Research Findings: How Phubbing Affects Empathy
A groundbreaking study by Schmidt-Barad and Chernyak-Hai (2024) investigated how phubbing influences empathy and social behavior. Their two-part study provided key insights:
- Long-term phubbing habits: Individuals who frequently phub others tend to have lower self-control and are less likely to engage in prosocial behaviors such as helping or comforting others. However, habitual phubbing did not have a direct link to lower empathy.
- Short-term empathy reduction: When participants recalled a time they had phubbed someone, they reported feeling less empathy than those who remembered choosing to stay present. This suggests that even a single instance of phubbing can immediately reduce emotional awareness and compassion.
These findings highlight that while long-term phubbing weakens impulse control and social behavior, even short moments of phubbing have immediate, measurable effects on empathy.
The Role of Self-Control in Phubbing and Empathy
There is a direct link between self-control and the ability to resist phubbing. People who have greater self-discipline find it easier to engage fully in conversations and emotions. However, those with lower self-control struggle to resist compulsive phone use.
- Lack of impulse control: The urge to check a smartphone disrupts meaningful conversation, making it difficult to maintain attention and emotional engagement.
- Reduced emotional sensitivity: When self-control is low, individuals are less responsive to others’ emotional cues, decreasing empathy and social responsiveness.
- A cycle of disconnection: Lack of self-control leads to habitual phubbing, reinforcing detachment from real-life relationships and reinforcing the habit of ignoring emotional interactions.
Since self-control is crucial in avoiding phubbing, strategies that strengthen impulse control—such as mindfulness and digital detoxes—can significantly improve social interactions.
How Reduced Empathy Leads to Declining Prosocial Behavior
Empathy is the foundation of prosocial behavior—acts like helping, sharing, and providing emotional support. When empathy is reduced, individuals are less likely to act in ways that benefit others.
Research shows that lower empathy from phubbing translates into fewer prosocial behaviors, meaning that phubbers:
- Are less likely to offer help to others
- Show reduced understanding and patience in conversations
- Become more self-focused instead of concerned with others’ feelings
If phubbing continues reducing empathy on a large scale, it may reshape social norms. Over time, this could lead to less kindness, weaker community bonds, and increased social detachment.
The Broader Psychological and Social Implications of Phubbing
On a larger scale, the normalization of phubbing could have profound impacts on society as a whole. Social interactions are the foundation of emotional intelligence, and when phones interrupt these connections, communities may suffer from:
- Weaker interpersonal bonds due to fewer deep, meaningful conversations.
- Decreased emotional intelligence, making social interactions less effective in work and personal life.
- Higher loneliness rates, even in a hyper-connected world.
Phubbing not only alters individual behavior but also shifts social expectations. If ignoring people in favor of a phone becomes widely accepted, real-life interactions may become less valuable over time.
How to Minimize Phubbing and Foster More Meaningful Interactions
Breaking the habit of phubbing requires conscious effort. Here are some effective strategies:
Set “Phone-Free” Zones
Designate areas where phone use is not allowed—like the dining table, meetings, or family gatherings. This encourages face-to-face interaction without digital interruptions.
Use Screen Time Monitoring Apps
Apps like Moment, Digital Wellbeing, or Apple’s Screen Time help track phone usage and make users aware of excessive screen time. These tools can help establish boundaries.
Practice Mindful Conversations
Being fully present during conversations strengthens empathy and connection. This means putting your phone away, making eye contact, and actively listening.
Establish Social Norms Against Phubbing
Encourage friends, family, and colleagues to be more mindful of phone use and speak openly about its negative effects. Awareness can help shift behaviors.
Final Thoughts
By reducing phubbing, individuals can strengthen relationships, enhance empathy, and foster a more connected society. The small act of choosing conversations over screen time can make a significant difference in personal and social well-being.
Put your phone down. Engage in real conversations. Your relationships—and your empathy—will thank you.
References
- Schmidt-Barad, T., & Chernyak-Hai, L. (2024). Phubbing makes the heart grow callous: Effects of phubbing on pro-social behavioral intentions, empathy and self-control. Psychological Reports. https://doi.org/10.1177/00332941241284917.
- Survey statistic: In a 2015 study, 90% of people admitted to using phones while engaging in conversations, and 86% reported observing others doing the same (Schmidt-Barad & Chernyak-Hai, 2024).
